I recently encountered two women who were sharing their stories about how obsessive each of their husbands was about the way the home was kept. Both of the men were extremely neat and organized. If things were out of place (which when you live in your home will tend to happen ????), it really bothered each of their husbands.
One woman said that if a coaster was left crooked, it would drive her husband nuts. The other woman shared that her husband would enter a room and immediately see a piece of lint on the floor across the room. They humorously shared their stories back and forth.
Although neither of these ladies was as particular as their husbands about keeping their homes so “perfect,” it was interesting to note how differently each of the women responded to their husbands.
One said she thought her husband just needed to relax and be less uptight about the way the home was kept. She and her husband often bickered over their differences. She went on to say that she would even intentionally move things out of place just to frustrate him.
The other woman said she appreciated that her husband was so organized and attentive to detail. She never had to pick up after him. She had compassion for the fact that when things were out of order, he always noticed. She understood that it was how he was wired, and he could not just turn it off. She tried to keep things neat and organized the way he liked them. He appreciated her for this.
So often keeping harmony in your marriage is a matter of perspective. Trying to understand things from your spouse’s point of view, even though it is different from your own, is crucial. Usually our different perspectives are not so much right or wrong, they are just different. Empathy is the capacity to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. Practicing empathy allows you to see the world from your spouse’s perspective, and imagine living life in their skin. This is a great way to cultivate peace in your relationship.