God sees us fail repeatedly, yet He is never impatient or unkind. God sees our wrongdoings, but He doesn’t record them. His love is long-suffering and His forgiveness is never ending. God never gives up on us, and He wants us to love our partner in the same way. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8)
You might say, “But you don’t know my spouse!” Romans 5:8 tells us, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (emphasis added) Jesus loved us so much that He laid down His life for us even though we were in rebellion against Him; even though we were less than perfect; even though He knew we would continue to disappoint Him and fall short of God’s will. He wants us to love our imperfect spouse with the same heart He loves us even in our imperfect state.
God wants us to love our partner with His agape love. Agape is not a feeling, but an act of the will. Choose to act lovingly in obedience to God’s commands, even if you do not feel loving towards your partner. Romans 5:3–5 says, “We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” (emphasis added). When you struggle with loving your partner, ask God to fill you with His love towards your partner. Even if your partner does not respond to your love, you will draw into a more intimate relationship with God through your obedience.