Marriage by GOD Blog

  • The Best Way to Enrich Your Marriage

    The Best Way to Enrich Your Marriage

    If I could encourage married couples to do one thing for the health and enrichment of their marriage, it would be to immerse themselves in God’s Word…not only as hearers but doers. A couple who keeps the attitude of Christ towards one another will be blessed beyond measure. Too many people are casual about their […]

  • Actions Speak Louder Than Words

    Actions Speak Louder Than Words

    Let your spouse know by your actions that you value them over other people and things. It is so easy to get caught up in work, taking care of the kids, extended family, church, etc. These are justifiably valuable places to invest your time. But make sure that your spouse is not just getting your […]

  • Top 10 Emotional Needs in Marriage

    Top 10 Emotional Needs in Marriage

    The bond of love between a husband and wife is special because of the “one flesh” intimacy that God has given us. In a joyful marriage, love is expressed and experienced in a romantic way, a friendship way and an unconditional, sacrificial way. The goal for marriage should be to keep all these expressions of […]

  • How to Resolve Conflict in Your Marriage

    How to Resolve Conflict in Your Marriage

    Conflict doesn’t destroy marriages. It is the inability to resolve a conflict that is so destructive. It is often the harsh words or tone that are used during a conflict that is most lasting and causes hurt feelings to linger long after the conflict is resolved. We have found that if couples will set a […]

  • Take it to the Lord in Prayer

    Take it to the Lord in Prayer

    Sometimes things don’t go the way we would like, or the way we feel we deserve in our marriage. “He never helps around the house.” “She doesn’t appreciate how hard you work.” “He is more invested in his job than his family.” “She is never satisfied.” “He just wants to watch sports all day.” “She […]

  • LOVE? What is it?

    LOVE? What is it?

    When Jesus was asked for God’s greatest commandment he said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” ~Mark 12:30-31 God obviously places a […]

  • Living Our Marriage in the Spirit

    Living Our Marriage in the Spirit

    According to Romans 8 there is a difference between “living according to the sinful nature” and “living according to the Spirit”   Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit […]

  • The BIG Relationship Killer

    The BIG Relationship Killer

    Excessive criticism is one of the most common destroyers of marriages. Most of us are aware of how often we are criticized, but we are seldom aware of how often we criticize. Here are 3 ways to help curb being critical of your spouse: Before you criticize, ask yourself three questions: Is it true, is […]

  • It’s All a Matter of Perspective

    It’s All a Matter of Perspective

    I recently encountered two women who were sharing their stories about how obsessive each of their husbands was about the way the home was kept. Both of the men were extremely neat and organized. If things were out of place (which when you live in your home will tend to happen ????), it really bothered […]

  • Blessed and Forgiven

    Blessed and Forgiven

    Our free will often draws us to live a “self-centered,” “self-focused” life instead of being in right relationship with God as Lord of our lives and being there for our spouse. The essence of sin is self-centeredness, or independence from God—the belief that we don’t need Him. The essence of God’s plan for us is communion […]

  • Have You Cashed the Check?

    Have You Cashed the Check?

    We have choices throughout each day to love and follow God or to choose our own selfish ways. God in His love is constantly leading and correcting His people in an attempt to draw them into relationship with Him. No matter how hard we try on our own, we will continually fall short of what […]

  • 3 Ways to Grow Closer to God

    3 Ways to Grow Closer to God

    Come near to God and he will come near to you ~ James 4:8 It seems the most natural way to pray is to bring our prayer requests to God. We sometimes act like He is the big vending machine in the sky. But God wants us to have so much more in our relationship with Him.   BE THANKFUL ~ Spend […]

  • Loving Like Jesus

    Loving Like Jesus

    God met with Moses Mount Sinai to give him the 10 Commandments for us to follow. When was the last time you read the 10 Commandments for yourself? Can you recite all 10? It is interesting to note that the first three commandments pertain to loving God. The last seven commandments pertain to loving others. Jesus […]

  • Why There Is Such A Struggle For Control In Marriage

    Why There Is Such A Struggle For Control In Marriage

    When Adam and Eve sinned by eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, their immediate punishment was spiritual death and the beginning of physical death. God also confronted them with further consequences that have been passed down through the lineage of mankind and are therefore part of our heritage, too. To the woman […]

  • The Blame Game

    The Blame Game

    Satan is the king of deception, the father of lies. He has a way of taking a lie and twisting it so that it appears to be the truth and that the truth is actually a lie. Even those with the sincerest love for God can be led astray. As Christians, like Adam and Eve, […]

  • How Would You Have Responded?

    How Would You Have Responded?

    The consequences for sin can be traced all the way back to the original two humans, Adam and Eve.  God told Adam, “…for when you eat of it you will surely die” (Genesis 2:15). Disobeying God in the Garden caused Adam and Eve die spiritually and physically. When Adam and Eve ate of the apple, […]

  • Oh No! We’ve Become THAT Couple!”

    Oh No! We’ve Become THAT Couple!”

     I remember when we were dating, we could spend hours endlessly talking with each other over coffee. More than once, we would look over at another table and see a couple who were both staring off into space. They had run out of things to talk about. I remember saying to one another, “That will […]

  • How Would You Define Good and Evil?

    How Would You Define Good and Evil?

    Jesus was once asked, “What is the greatest commandment?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.” ~ Matthew 22:37-38—37   In its simplest sense, “goodness” is represented when we Love the Lord our God […]

  • What Were They Thinking?

    What Were They Thinking?

    The Bible tells us that Adam and Eve originally dwelt in the Garden of Eden. The word “Eden” means “delight.” So they dwelt in the “Garden of Delight.” According to the Bible’s description of the garden, it truly was delightful. And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that […]

  • Are You Stuck Together Like Glue?

    Are You Stuck Together Like Glue?

    God wants a husband and wife to join together as one, as we read in Genesis 2:24, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The Hebrew word for united, dabaq, means “to cling, cleave, keep close, stick to, or […]

  • The Beautiful Interdependence Between Husbands and Wives

    The Beautiful Interdependence Between Husbands and Wives

    The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” ~ Genesis 2:18 After God created Adam and given him all the animals to rule over, God saw that this was not enough. Adam needed a companion. But God did not make an […]

  • How Does Being Made In the Image of God Impact Our Marriage?

    How Does Being Made In the Image of God Impact Our Marriage?

    In the very first chapter of the Bible we are told that God very uniquely created the first man and woman, Adam and Eve in his image. Genesis 1:26-28 26 Then God said, “Let us make man in Our image, in Our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the […]

  • 3 Ways to Love Your Spouse Even When They Aren’t So Lovable

    3 Ways to Love Your Spouse Even When They Aren’t So Lovable

    Agape love is often the word used to describe the love that Jesus modeled. It is the word used to describe the type of love we as Christians are to model towards one another and is especially distinct from erotic love or emotional affection. The agape love modeled by Jesus is a selfless love that usually […]

  • 3 Ways to Improve Stinkin’ Thinkin’ in Your Marriage

    3 Ways to Improve Stinkin’ Thinkin’ in Your Marriage

    When things go off track in your relationship with your spouse, do you find yourself entertaining negative thoughts like, “This is never going to get better.” “I give up!” “God doesn’t care.” “God has abandoned me.”? It is at moments like this we need to recognize that these thoughts are from the enemy and not […]

  • 3 Ways to Grow a More Christ-Centered Marriage

    3 Ways to Grow a More Christ-Centered Marriage

    The world presents a much different view of marriage than what God intended. The best efforts and wisdom of humans cannot begin to hold a candle to what God has designed. Human perceptions of marriage are abundantly available to us. They are modeled and presented to us every day through well-meaning friends, family members, television […]

  • Am I My Husband’s Helper?

    Am I My Husband’s Helper?

    When God created Adam, he saw that Adam needed a companion. But God did not make an exact replica of Adam; He made a woman, who according to Genesis 2:18, was to be Adam’s helper or helpmate. The New Testament tells us we have all been given a specific walk for our lives. “For we are […]

  • 7 Tips for Planning a Great Date Night with Your Spouse

    7 Tips for Planning a Great Date Night with Your Spouse

    Either spouse can plan a date night. The date night could be an evening out, or a romantic night in. One of the healthiest things a couple can do is to continue to date each other after they are married. It is especially fun if you take turns planning the date night and try to […]

  • How to Change Your Marriage from Bitter to Better

    How to Change Your Marriage from Bitter to Better

    Relationships are either getting better or getting worse. They don’t stay the same. You might say that a marriage is either getting better or bitter. If you examine the words “bitter” and “better,” you will notice that the only difference is that “bitter” has an “i” and “better” has an “e.” When a marriage begins to drift […]

  • 5 Great Benefits of Praying WITH Your Spouse

    5 Great Benefits of Praying WITH Your Spouse

    Pastor, Author, Speaker, Dr. Harold Sala, has been giving advice to married couples for over 55 years. Here he shares some great wisdom about praying together as a couple: 1) Prayer places us on the same level. The issue of power – who is in control – is one of the most frequent causes of […]

  • 5 Lessons From EASTER That Will Bless Your Marriage

    5 Lessons From EASTER That Will Bless Your Marriage

    The story of Easter is so amazing and has wonderful truths for us to live out in our marriages. It is about Jesus dying on the cross as a sacrifice for our sins and resurrecting on the third day in order to bring each of us who believe in Him into new life. New eternal […]

  • Practice Love

    Practice Love

    We tend to put energy and value on the things of this world that are all temporary, rather than investing our best efforts and time on the things that are of worth in this life and for eternity. We put intentional effort into cooking, cleaning, shopping, working out, carpooling kids, etc. What if we put […]

  • Are You Married to the Perfect Spouse?

    Are You Married to the Perfect Spouse?

    Are you married to the perfect spouse? Before you ponder this question too long, let me make it simple for you. The answer is NO! The Bible tells us, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” ~ Romans 3:23 So if you are looking for your spouse to be perfect, remember, no spouse is perfect. […]

  • Growing Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage

    Growing Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage

    God created us in His image, including being made with some of the same relational characteristics as the Triune God. We have the capacity and desire for connection, closeness, community, and dependency. God planned for married couples to meet many of each other’s needs for love and connection through the oneness of marriage. Emotional intimacy […]

  • You Build Me Up

    You Build Me Up

    Men and Women get their self-esteem in different ways. We each play an important role in this for our spouse.   Men generally get their self-esteem from their career and by providing for their family. A wife should be sensitive to this by believing in her husband, being interested in his career, and appreciating his […]

  • Independence is Overrated

    Independence is Overrated

    God was not surprised when Adam and Eve sinned. God is all-knowing and operates outside of space and time. He knew before Adam and Eve were even created that they would sin. He knew that all mankind would fall under the curse of sin. But God loved us so much that through Christ, He also […]

  • Before You Were Born, God Had Plans For You

    Before You Were Born, God Had Plans For You

    Sometimes it is important to pause and remember who we are and who our spouse is in relationship to God. I like recite Psalm 139:13-18 and personalize it to me and my husband: For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are […]

  • It’s Not Only What You Say, But How You Say It

    It’s Not Only What You Say, But How You Say It

    It’s not just what you say to your spouse, but how you say it. Tone can change the entire meaning of the spoken content. Tone is the punctuation to the spoken word. You can imagine how difficult it would be to write without punctuation. Two of the biggest offenses in tone are using an overbearing […]

  • 6 Guidelines to Help Get Your Finances Under Control

    6 Guidelines to Help Get Your Finances Under Control

    A timeless sharing from the archives of Guidelines for Living a commentary by Dr. Harold Sala. May 27, 2011 MONEY CAN WRECK YOUR MARRIAGE For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 1 Timothy […]

  • A New Year’s Prayer

    A New Year’s Prayer

    Year’s ago we attended a wedding where the couple each brought forth a little bound scroll. They explained to those present that each of them had written down a prayer to God for His specific blessings on their first year of marriage. They placed their scrolls in an empty bottle and put the cork on […]

  • The Essence of Christmas is Forgiveness

    The Essence of Christmas is Forgiveness

    As we prepare our hearts to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ, let’s not focus on the birth of a child, but rather the job that Child was sent to do.  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live […]

  • 5 Ways to Love “Difficult People” at Christmas

    5 Ways to Love “Difficult People” at Christmas

    The holidays often bring us together with family and friends in social settings that can be unpredictable and emotionally charged. Approaching these times of coming together can be filled with exciting anticipation, or anxious trepidation depending on the particular relationships. Think of the three most difficult people for you to love that you will see […]

  • Setting the Tone in Your Home

    Setting the Tone in Your Home

    This time of year we focus so much time on creating a holiday atmosphere in our homes. We may decorate with Christmas lights and put up a tree. We set out the nativity scene to remember what the true meaning of the season is all about. God wants us to set a positive atmosphere in […]

  • Something to Sing About!

    Something to Sing About!

    Most people spend their lives searching for happiness. The dictionary defines happiness as “a pleasure or satisfaction based on happenings.” But I submit to you there is something even better—joy. Joy is defined as “a feeling or condition of high pleasure or delight.” Happiness is a temporary feeling based on events that happen, whereas joy […]

  • How to Experience More Joy with Your Spouse This CHRISTmas Season

    How to Experience More Joy with Your Spouse This CHRISTmas Season

    Our pastor recently shared in his Sunday message that “Joy is the byproduct of believing the Gospel, living the Gospel, sharing the Gospel and helping others to experience the Gospel.” Do you and your spouse want to experience more holiday joy this season? Work together to find extra ways to live out the Gospel. While […]

  • 8 Ways to Recapture the Peace When Conflicts Arise During the Holidays

    8 Ways to Recapture the Peace When Conflicts Arise During the Holidays

    The holidays are so full of expectations for the picture perfect Norman Rockwell moments. Each of us has an idea of what we want the Christmas season to be like. What happens when our dreams of Christmas are not met? Often the ideas we have for Christmas don’t match our spouses. Because of this our […]

  • How Thankful Are You?

    How Thankful Are You?

    Thanksgiving – Let’s take a moment to reflect on the word that designates this national holiday – thanksgiving. I think the word thanksgiving rates right up there with the word Rejoice! Thanksgiving, being grateful, being appreciative, this should be a way of life for us, naturally flowing from our hearts and mouths. When we are […]

  • Love is Easy Until Our Spouse Gets Difficult…Then What?

    Love is Easy Until Our Spouse Gets Difficult…Then What?

    It seems the idea of loving our spouses is easy until something difficult happens in our relationship. Our spouse is cranky or thoughtless. He or she says something hurtful or insensitive. Critical relatives come into town and steal your peace while your spouse is enjoying every moment with them. There is a whole array of […]

  • 16 Ways to “One Another” Your Spouse

    16 Ways to “One Another” Your Spouse

    I recently decided to do a little Bible study on all of the “One Another” statements in the New Testament. As I studied them, I thought how wonderful every marriage would be if we lived these out daily with our spouse. Think of one way you can be intentional about showering your spouse with each […]

  • What to do When You Have Stinkin’ Thinkin’ Towards Your Spouse

    What to do When You Have Stinkin’ Thinkin’ Towards Your Spouse

    It is so easy to get caught up in stinkin’ thinkin’. Our spouse says or does something that is displeasing to us and we find that is all we can think about throughout the day. In fact, it has us dwelling on every time he or she has done something like that before. We find […]

  • What’s Love Got To Do With It?

    What’s Love Got To Do With It?

    I have heard it said that the happiest people are married and that the most unhappy people are married. The difference between being the happiest and being the unhappiest depends on how you express LOVE  in your marriage. Marriage isn’t about two people being perfectly compatible. It is about two imperfect people coming together and discovering how […]

  • When You Are Upset With Your Spouse…

    When You Are Upset With Your Spouse…

    When you are upset with your spouse, how do you respond? The old me would show my husband I was mad at him in a passive aggressive way. I wouldn’t yell and shout, instead I would give him the cold shoulder treatment…sometimes for days! What happened that changed my thinking? I began to truly understand […]

  • Girlfriends Can Help Make Us Better Wives

    Girlfriends Can Help Make Us Better Wives

    It is important for husbands and wives to reserve time together each day to communicate. Recognize though, that men and women have different conversational needs. Since sharing needs may differ, both should be sensitive to the other. A husband may need some down time when he first arrives home from work. He may give brief answers […]

  • Comfort one Another in Love

    Comfort one Another in Love

    When was the last time you asked your spouse to share with you how you can be praying for him or her? Ask your spouse to share openly and honestly with you about their dreams, their goals, their frustrations and anything that is burdening them, so that you can come alongside them with the same […]

  • Do You Sometimes Feel Like a Pathetic Loser?…Whatever!

    Do You Sometimes Feel Like a Pathetic Loser?…Whatever!

    I recently met with a woman who felt she was a failure as a wife and mother. Her husband had left her for a younger woman and was in the process of divorcing her. Her son, who had just started college, was making some poor choices and she feared the consequences. To top it all […]

  • The 21 Day Challenge That Can Transform Your Marriage

    The 21 Day Challenge That Can Transform Your Marriage

    It has been said that it takes 21 days to create a habit. I am not sure if this is a fact or a myth, but I want to challenge you to try something for 21 days that is sure to bless your marriage. My husband, Ed, likes to ask couples, “Would you like to […]

  • 3 Ways to Infuse Joy Into Your Marriage

    3 Ways to Infuse Joy Into Your Marriage

    Celebrate each other’s successes. Life moves so quickly. Often husbands and wives are involved in separate jobs and activities that take them in completely different directions. We may not understand why our spouse is so excited about something that seems small to us. But when something is meaningful to our spouse, whether it is a […]

  • The Secret to Getting Your Spouse to Treat You Like a King or Queen

    The Secret to Getting Your Spouse to Treat You Like a King or Queen

    About nine years ago, my husband, Ed, came up with an idea that demonstrates how to intentionally serve one another in love. He suggested that we start a weekly tradition of being king or queen for the day. This little exercise helps us understand and better communicate how we can each meet the other’s needs […]

  • 3 Steps to Reinvigorate Friendship with Your Spouse

    3 Steps to Reinvigorate Friendship with Your Spouse

    When we meet with engaged couples to do their premarital counseling, we can easily see the genuine friendship they have together. They are each other’s best friends. They know how to have fun together and are genuinely interested in what is important to their partner. They invest time and energy into their relationship. Fast forward […]

  • You Never Have to Worry Again!

    You Never Have to Worry Again!

    Do you have sleepless nights over worrisome situations in your life? God’s Word tells us not to be anxious or to worry about ANYTHING. Easier said, then done! It seems so natural to obediently talk about trusting in the Lord and waiting patiently on Him, until something occurs that disrupts our lives right where we […]

  • I Feel Most Loved When…

    I Feel Most Loved When…

    I am married to an amazing guy. He brings me coffee in bed every morning. He washes and gases my car once a week. He even does his own laundry. I have never so much as picked up a sock after him. You are probably thinking I am one lucky wife, and yes I am! […]

  • Be Each Other’s Biggest Encourager; Not the Biggest Critic

    Be Each Other’s Biggest Encourager; Not the Biggest Critic

    What do you do when your spouse messes up. Are you quick to be critical? Do you continually nag them to change their ways. Your spouse doesn’t need any more criticism, but I’m pretty sure they’d love to have more of your encouragement. God instructs us to: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any […]

  • If God is Your Co-pilot, Change Seats!

    If God is Your Co-pilot, Change Seats!

    One of the best ways to bless your marriage is to regularly stay in God’s Word. As the Psalmist wrote, “Your Word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Ps. 119:105 We can choose to muddle through life on our own, doing things our own way, or we can light our path and make straight […]

  • How to Respond to a Critical Spouse

    How to Respond to a Critical Spouse

    In marriage, God wants us to hold one another lovingly accountable. Sometimes there are actions that need correction and a biblical reproof; other times it is best to just let things go. Before critiquing your spouse, you should ask yourself if this is a necessary admonishment. If it is, then carefully consider how to present […]

  • Being Intentional

    Being Intentional

    A couple usually puts special effort into their relationship while they are dating and engaged. Early in the marriage they are eager to please one another, but after awhile, as they settle into marriage, they tend to begin investing that energy in other areas of life like career, family, friends, and outside activities. Before they know […]

  • Wherever You Are ~ Be There!

    Wherever You Are ~ Be There!

    The other day I went to the grocery store. As I was wheeling my basket of groceries to my car, I realized that I had just exchanged pleasantries with the clerk who checked my groceries, and she had responded to me in kind; but neither one of us had even made eye contact. We just went […]

  • In-laws or Outlaws?

    In-laws or Outlaws?

    The relationship dynamics between spouses is challenging enough. When we add children, siblings, parents, in-laws, grandchildren, and grandparents, life can become very complicated. As you reflect on these relationships, it may surprise you how significantly these relationships impact your marriage relationship. Your marital relationship should always take priority over your respective families of origin. Extended […]

  • 3 Steps to Help Reconcile Your Personality Differences

    3 Steps to Help Reconcile Your Personality Differences

    Before we got married, 37 years ago, we went through a premarital counseling class with our pastor. During one of our meetings he asked everyone in the group to raise their hand if they were compatible with their fiancé. All twenty of us raised our hands high, only to have the pastor tell us we were […]

  • 10 Ways to Cultivate a More Forgiving Heart

    10 Ways to Cultivate a More Forgiving Heart

    Jesus knew that we would need to forgive others, especially our spouse, over and over again. Here are some thoughts to help cultivate a forgiving heart in your relationship: We will never have to forgive our partner as much as God has forgiven us. We tend to judge others by their worst act and yet […]

  • How to Stop Bickering with Your Spouse

    How to Stop Bickering with Your Spouse

    Do you find yourself often bickering with your spouse? We have a natural tendency to want to be right and prove that someone who disagrees with us is wrong. If you are right, no defense is necessary. If you are wrong, no defense will do. Jesus wants us to respond to our marital disagreements in […]

  • The Secret to a More Vibrant Marriage

    The Secret to a More Vibrant Marriage

    Keeping the home fires warm is one of the best ways to protect your marriage. A marriage is most vulnerable to a spouse seeking validation outside of the marriage when things get cold at home. A husband and wife are meant to meet each other’s emotional and physical intimacy needs, but God created them with uniquely […]

  • Loving Your Spouse Like Jesus Loves You

    Loving Your Spouse Like Jesus Loves You

    God sees us fail repeatedly, yet He is never impatient or unkind. God sees our wrongdoings, but He doesn’t record them. His love is long-suffering and His forgiveness is never ending. God never gives up on us, and He wants us to love our partner in the same way.  “Above all, love each other deeply, because […]

  • What is LOVE?

    What is LOVE?

    Love is a difficult word to define, perhaps because there are so many types of love but just one English word to describe them. We say we love our spouse, we love our children, we love our car, and we love ice cream. We use the same word “love” in all of these examples, though […]

  • When You and Your Spouse are at Different Levels with Your Spiritual Walks

    When You and Your Spouse are at Different Levels with Your Spiritual Walks

    IN 1999, AS OUR SONS WENT off to college and we became empty nesters, Ed announced that it was a good time for us to get involved in church ministry. This was amazing on so many levels. For many years, although Ed professed God as his Creator, and Jesus as his Savior, he had very […]

  • Communication Killers

    Communication Killers

    One of the first steps towards improving your communication skills as a couple is to identify where your communication is not as healthy as it could be. Discuss with your spouse the following list of communication killers to determine where either one of you could improve your communication skills in your relationship. Do either one of […]

  • Choose Your Attitude

    Choose Your Attitude

    Do you pay attention to your own self-talk? It is the voice we listen to the most and if we are not careful, it can undermine us. We can sometimes miss life’s greatest gifts by focusing on the wrong things. One big way we can find ourselves doing this is by speaking of things as […]

  • Actively Listening to Your Spouse

    Actively Listening to Your Spouse

    Communication expert, Michael P. Nichols, says, “Genuine listening means suspending memory, desire, and judgment—and, for a moment at least, existing for the other person.” Be alert to some of the common blocks to listening in your relationship: judging, daydreaming, advising, reading your spouse’s mind, filtering (selective listening), planning your response, and changing the subject (through […]

  • Holding Your Spouse Lovingly Accountable

    Holding Your Spouse Lovingly Accountable

    As a married couple, there will be times, when you will need to communicate a hard truth to your spouse. Accountability is crucially important in our battle against sin. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Who better to hold us lovingly accountable than our spouse? This type of critique […]

  • Husbands and Wives are Wired Differently

    Husbands and Wives are Wired Differently

    During a premarital session, Brandt expressed his annoyance that his fiancée, Alexis, would often complain about her job to him. He would listen to her vent and then give her suggestions on how to resolve the issues. Instead of appreciating his help, she would shut down in frustration. He said in exasperation, “I don’t get […]

  • What is Your Spouse Really Saying?

    What is Your Spouse Really Saying?

    Body Language is the form of communication that is most involuntary; therefore, it is usually the most honest. Non-verbal messages are communicated through gestures, postures, facial expressions, and other behaviors. You might not be a body language expert, but quite often you can intuitively sense what others are saying through their non-verbal messages. Here are […]

  • Be Intentional About the Tone in Your Home

    Be Intentional About the Tone in Your Home

    Establish a positive tone in your home that is welcoming. When you and your spouse come together at the end of your day, greet each other in a special way. Let your spouse know that he or she is loved by you!

  • The Differences Between Husbands and Wives

    The Differences Between Husbands and Wives

    Men and women often feel misunderstood by their partners. It is natural for us to think that men and women function alike; however, that statement could not be further from the truth. The differences between men and women are extensive and wide-ranging. Despite the notable gender differences, God created males and females equal and in […]

  • The Greatest Fear

    The Greatest Fear

    One of the greatest fears most people have is the fear of death. I believe there are four key reasons for this. We fear we may not be able to complete everything we set out to do before our time is up here on earth. We all must face death eventually. It is inescapable. We […]

  • He Drove His SUV Through The Garage Door!

    He Drove His SUV Through The Garage Door!

    Yesterday in the news there was a story about a 91 year old man who drove his SUV through his garage door. It was a longtime dream he had and was the final thing on his “bucket list” (Click here to read the whole story with video). What’s on your “bucket list?” Have you ever had a […]

  • Men and Women are Uniquely Different

    Men and Women are Uniquely Different

    We were talking in the office today about the differences between men and women. The differences can be so EXTREME. One of my co-workers stated, “We all need a manual.” I thought he said, “We all need Emmanuel (which means God with us).” The truth is we do all need God with us in marriage. […]

  • 7 Areas of Compatibility in Marriage

    7 Areas of Compatibility in Marriage

    As we have counseled married couples, we have come to realize that there are seven areas that couples need to have a good degree of compatibility. They are fun, friendship, finances, family, forgiveness, future and faith. This does not mean you need to be perfectly compatible. There is no such thing as any two people syncing perfectly. […]

  • 5 Encouraging Bible Verses for Your Marriage

    5 Encouraging Bible Verses for Your Marriage

    BibleStudyTools.com: 5 Encouraging Bible Verses to Get You through Today! from biblestudytools on GodTube.

  • What Holds You Together?

    What Holds You Together?

    One of the foundational ideas that differentiates a secular marriage from a God-centered marriage is that a God-centered marriage assumes a union of three: God, husband, and wife. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” A cord or braid appears to […]

  • Where Did All The Fun Go?

    Where Did All The Fun Go?

    After a couple has been married for a number of years, it is not uncommon that they are drawn apart do to different areas of interest. She gets involved in mommy activities. He golfs with his buddies on the weekend. The time they used to so easily spend doing activities TOGETHER when they were dating […]

  • What would you have done?

    What would you have done?

    We recently went on a river cruise with two other couples up the Danube in Eastern Europe. We traveled through majestic cities, quaint little villages and beautiful scenic countryside. As we enjoyed all the incredible sites, we also saw sites that told the story of the harsh WWII history that ravaged much of this area. […]

  • His Needs and Her Needs are Different

    His Needs and Her Needs are Different

    In his book, His Needs, Her Needs, author, Willard F. Harley Jr. identified 10 different emotional needs that are important in marriage. Typically husbands and wives prioritize these needs differently. It is valuable to understand and be understood by our spouse. Ask your spouse to identify and rank which of these 10 emotional needs would be in their […]

  • What Does Real Love Look Like?

    What Does Real Love Look Like?

    Here is another wonderful guest blog post by Debby Benis. How Do I Know If It’s Really Love?

  • The 10 Commandments for Peaceful Discussion

    The 10 Commandments for Peaceful Discussion

    When a couple is having trouble with communication, it is often a symptom of a bigger issue. Try to identify the bigger issue and work that through. Above all, always speak to each other in love. Here are 10 Commandments for Peaceful Discussions. 🙂

  • Locked Together as One

    Locked Together as One

    While traveling in Budapest, Hungary, we came across this Chain Tree where lovers put a lock that represents their permanent commitment to love one another. This is a beautiful portrayal of the oneness God designed for married couples to perpetuate. From the very beginning God wanted a husband and wife to operate together as a […]

  • True Forgiveness
  • Doing life together with other couples

    Doing life together with other couples

    Fellowship with other believers is one of the conduits God uses to share His truth with us. Communing with other Christian married couples will help enrich your marriage through shared life experiences and godly insights. If you are not already in one, consider joining a small group.

  • Question of the day…

    Question of the day…

    Marriage is the laboratory for learning how to love. What is the greatest lesson about love you have learned from your marriage?

  • Into-me-see

    Into-me-see

    You should feel comfortable and safe sharing your most intimate thoughts and dreams with each other. It is as if you are saying, “into-me-see.” Growing in this area involves a continual effort and investment in your relationship. For some fun questions to initiate conversation check out our “Couple Conversation Starters.”

  • Do you hear me?
  • Respond in LOVE

    Respond in LOVE

    Are there any areas in which you feel your spouse is not successfully fulfilling his or her role in marriage? God gives specific instructions for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. God instructs wives to respect their husbands and submit to their leadership in the family. When your spouse does not […]

  • What Keeps You Awake at Night?

    What Keeps You Awake at Night?

    Do you sometimes lie awake at night because you are worrying about things. The Bible tells us, “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his […]